


The Sweetest Taboo

by youjik33



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:05:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7599202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youjik33/pseuds/youjik33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's totally not Erlich's fault Bighead lost all his money. Bighead's the one who spent it on things like cannon rentals and pool-moving and sex paraphernalia he insists he bought completely by accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sweetest Taboo

**Author's Note:**

> Title shamelessly stolen from Sade. I listened to so much Sade while writing this, you guys. _So much._
> 
> Before jumping into the ridiculous porn, I just want to say how much I love this fandom for being so accepting of little fringe pairings. We tend to be a very ship-and-let-ship bunch and I think that's awesome = )

It was Bighead’s fault. Erlich kept reminding himself that as he watched the rental trucks finish emptying the house. Erlich had only spent a tiny fraction of that money, and that launch party was supposed to be an investment in the future of Bachmanity. It wasn’t his fault Bighead had already blown it on renting canons and repeatedly moving the swimming pool. He didn’t know why he was so uncomfortable about it now, when it was too late to do anything – unless Jared dug up some miracle fix. The thought that he was letting someone else go through his finances just added to his discomfort; he really didn’t want to dwell on it.

“You’re gonna be okay here tonight, by yourself?” Erlich asked. Bighead shrugged, wandering the house like he was seeing it for the first time. They crossed the naked hardwood floors of what had once been the rec room, and headed upstairs.

“Everything looks so weird, all empty like this. And, man, it really echoes. Echo!” Bighead shouted. It didn’t exactly echo back, but the place did feel huge and cold and empty. Bighead opened the door to his bedroom. A sleeping bag was tucked in one corner, tiny and pathetic-looking, and in the other was...

“What the fuck is that doing there?” Erlich asked.

“Oh,” Bighead said, his face flushing read. “That was, uh, an unreturnable item. It’s, um. Well. It’s kind of. It’s a, well.” He gestured vaguely toward the leather-and-chain contraption, standing on very sturdy-looking metal poles.

“I know what it is, Bighead,” Erlich said. He had premium memberships to six different porn sites; he sure as hell could recognize a sex swing when he saw one. “I’m just kind of surprised. I never pegged you as being into anything even remotely kinky. Pure vanilla.”

“I ordered it by accident,” Bighead explained. “You know when you’re watching cartoons in the middle of the night, they have these infomercials for swings you can set up in your house? So one time I was watching Disney XD after a few beers, and I thought, hey, a playground in the house, that would be awesome. I wonder if they make that for adults. Only I went on Amazon, and I looked up ‘adult swing’, and there were a ton of hits, then I thought, hey, Nelson, you’re loaded, why not get the most expensive one? But I didn’t read the reviews, and this is what I got. I thought maybe I could just use it as a swing, but there are too many straps, I just got confused.”

“So you never used it for its intended purpose?” Erlich had never seen a sex swing outside of porn vids. Just being near it was giving him a stiffy. “That’s a goddamn travesty.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Bighead said with a shrug. “I guess it’ll just get tossed in a dumpster tomorrow. It does seem like kind of a waste.”

“Shit, it’s real leather,” Erlich said. He could actually smell it. “You have to use this thing.” It suddenly seemed incredibly important, for some reason.

“I dunno,” Bighead said. He laughed a little, nervously. “I mean, it’s not like I can just go out and pick up some random person, like, ‘oh, hey, I have an unused sex swing, you want to break it in?’ I don’t even think I want to do that, man. I mean, there’s an introductory period before I can get that comfortable with a stranger. And I’m out of here tomorrow morning. That’s just not enough time.”  
“What if it isn’t a stranger?” Erlich asked. “What if it’s someone you already know? Someone who’s got a fuckton of sexual prowess and has wanted to use one of these things for a while but never had an opportunity?”

“Uh. Did you have somebody in mind?”

“Can you give me half an hour to get things in order?”

Bighead stared at him. Erlich could practically see the gears in his head turning, extremely slowly. “Sure,” he said. “I mean. This is something I can back out of if I decide later I don’t wanna go through with it, right?”

“Oh, trust me, Bighead,” Erlich said. “You’re gonna want to go through with it. This is going to be the best night of your life.”

Twenty-five minutes later Erlich had made the round trip to his own room and back. He’d grabbed a scented jar candle – Pina Colada; even if it did remind him of that ill-fated luau, he had a feeling Bighead would like something sweet and fruity – and a Bluetooth speaker, setting up a playlist of the best of Sade from his phone. He also grabbed condoms and lube, kind of doubting Bighead was that prepared.

There wasn’t any real furniture left in the room, so the candle just went on the floor in the corner, the Bluetooth speaker beside it. Bighead stood nearby, watching as Erlich fiddled with the light switch, trying to find the perfect setting for the overhead light – not too bright, not too dim.

“Just to be clear,” Bighead asked, “The person you were suggesting I have sex with is you, right?”

“Right,” Erlich said as the opening strains of _Paradise_ filled the room.

“Okay,” Bighead said. “Sure, why not. Kinda fitting, I guess. ‘Bachmanity’ kinda sounds like our celebrity couple name anyway, so we might as well--”

Erlich shut him up by grabbing the front of his hoodie and kissing him.

“Oh,” Bighead said in surprise against Erlich’s mouth, and then kissed back.

After that initial moment of confusion, he was pretty enthusiastic, his hands sliding up Erlich’s back under his sweater. Erlich unzipped Bighead’s hoodie, pushing it off his shoulders. He grabbed the hem of the t-shirt underneath and Bighead obediently lifted his arms to let Erlich pull it over his head.

“Shit,” Erlich said. “You’re actually kind of buff. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Yeah?” Bighead said. “I used to use the climbing wall, back when I worked at Hooli. Like, a lot. More than I actually did real work, now that I think about it. You’re supposed to use your legs to push yourself up, but that never made a lot of sense to me--”

He had to stop talking because Erlich was sucking on his tongue. He unzipped Bighead’s jeans, pushing them down skinny hips, digging his fingers into the firm muscle of Bighead’s butt.

“Jesus, you have a fantastic ass,” Erlich murmured against Bighead’s hair. “It’s like a fucking work of art. Michelangelo would cream his toga over this ass.”

“I don’t think they actually wore togas during the Renaissance,” Bighead said. “But, uh, thanks. You’re fine too.”

“Just fine?” Erlich repeated. He stepped back, giving himself room to pull his sweater over his head.

“I’m not as good at talking as you are,” Bighead said apologetically.

“Well. Few are.”

Bighead laughed, and leaned up for another kiss. He seemed to be getting more comfortable with every passing moment, and Erlich hooked his arms under Bighead’s amazing ass and hoisted. Bighead caught on immediately, legs wrapping around Erlich’s waist. This did make it a lot easier to make out.

“Wow,” Bighead said breathlessly after a minute. “You’re really strong.”

“I could fuck you like this,” Erlich said. “Just bounce you up and down on my dick.”

“Oh my God,” Bighead groaned, shifting his weight to grind his hard cock against Erlich’s. Erlich suddenly wished he’d taken his pants off before he’d done this. “That sounds fucking amazing, man, but it kinda leaves the swing out of the equation.”

“Good point,” He carried Bighead over toward the swing, setting him to his feet gently in front of it. “Here, turn around.”

Bighead did, but gave Erlich a quizzical look over his shoulder. “Is this how you’re supposed to use it?” he asked.

“I don’t wanna rush this,” Erlich explained. “Just bend over, let me enjoy that ass for a minute.”

He didn’t start with Bighead’s ass, though. Instead Erlich kissed the back of his neck, grinning when Bighead gasped at the touch. He nipped his way down his spine, pausing to press his tongue into the small of Bighead’s back, the leather of the seat creaking as Bighead squirmed against it. Erlich didn’t stop licking as he grabbed the waistband of Bighead’s underwear, sliding it down his legs.

He dropped to his knees; from here, Bighead’s ass was right in front of him. He grabbed one cheek in each hand and squeezed, drawing them apart a little, then leaning down to press the tip of his tongue against the perineum. Bighead moaned, the sound muffled against the pillow attached to the back of the swing. Erlich swiped his tongue upward, from Bighead’s balls up to his hole, and Bighead moaned again, louder, higher-pitched. He was so responsive it was turning Erlich on even more. He worked Bighead over with his tongue, sucking gently on the loose skin at the base of his balls, Bighead practically writhing under him.

“You can yell all you want,” Erlich reminded him. “Nobody’s gonna hear you.”

“You said that in the absolute creepiest way possible,” Bighead said between panting breaths. “Are you gonna fuck me or what?”

“I’m getting there,” Erlich said, getting to his feet. “Pretty thirsty for cock, huh?” He gave Bighead’s ass an open-handed slap, not too hard, just enough to make him jump. “Turn over, let’s get you into this thing.”

Bighead, Erlich had noticed pretty early on, tended to do what he was told. He stood up and turned over, sitting back into the webbed leather harness of the swing, resting his head on the pillow. He was flushed and panting and his cock was dripping a healthy dribble of pre-come, and he seemed to be barely resisting the urge not to touch himself, his hands clenching at his upper thighs instead.

Erlich stepped quickly out of his cargo pants, focusing entirely on Bighead and the swing. “This thing didn’t come with an instruction manual, did it?”

“Yeah,” Bighead said. “But I threw it away after I set it up.”

“Well, I’m sure we can figure it out. I’d say you just put your feet in the loops down here, and then hold on to these. Oh, wait.” The leather loops hanging from the upper set of chains, Erlich noticed, featured a series of snaps. “Interesting. How do you feel about a little light bondage?”

“Sure,” Bighead said, quickly enough that Erlich suspected he might not be 100% vanilla after all. Erlich got the cuffs snapped around Bighead’s wrists, and stepped back to admire the view.

“You look fucking amazing,” he said. “All spread out and waiting for me.” There was a creak of leather and chain – Bighead had immediately forgotten that he couldn’t move his arms, and strained against the straps. “You want me to touch you?” Erlich teased.

“ _Yes,_ shit, get on with it, we’ve been here for like four hours.”

That was patently untrue; the Sade playlist hadn’t looped yet, and it was just about two hours long. But Erlich took pity on Bighead, and on his own throbbing dick, pulling the lube out of the pocket of his discarded pants. He’d never seen that look on Bighead’s face before. He was usually so mild and unflappable, and Erlich loved seeing him like this, bright-eyed and yearning. He fisted his own dick, letting Bighead just watch him for a minute. He moved his hand slowly, almost theatrically, letting himself imagine what it was going to feel like, and he knew Bighead was thinking about it too.

“Please?” Bighead said finally, and Erlich couldn’t help but laugh.

“Since you asked so nicely,” he said. He’d left the box of condoms next to one of the swing’s supports, and he fished one out, tossing it onto Bighead’s stomach. “Here, hold onto that for a second.”

Bighead, of course, couldn’t actually hold onto anything, and just sighed impatiently, his stomach muscles jumping and sending the condom sliding down to get caught at the junction of hip and thigh.

Erlich uncapped the lube, squirting some onto his fingers. He only teased Bighead a little, running slick fingers up and down his crack for a second before pushing one inside.

Bighead hissed, eyes screwing shut, straining against the cuffs.

“Okay?” Erlich asked.

“Yeah, it’s great,” Bighead said. “I’ve only ever had my own fingers up there.” He gasped again as Erlich pushed in a second finger. “This is way better.”

Erlich almost reached for Bighead’s cock with his left hand while he worked the fingers of his right, but then he stopped himself, wondering if he could get Bighead to come without touching his cock at all. He was pretty sure, judging by the sweat beading on the other man’s forehead and how hard and flushed red his cock was already, that it wouldn’t even take all that long. He had to pull his fingers out to get the condom wrapper open, which got a needy little whine out of Bighead, but he’d rolled it on soon enough. They had really lucked out with the height of the swing; it was adjustable, but the way it had been set up was just about perfect, and Erlich could line himself up and push in easily.

The swing was a weird experience. There was some give, when he pushed forward; he put his hands on Bighead’s thighs to steady him. Bighead couldn’t really do much to move against him, so it was on Erlich to set the pace, starting a slow, careful rhythm. The best thing about the swing was how well he could see what was happening, his cock pushing in and out of Bighead’s tight hole. The visual component combined with the sheer amount of control he had over the situation was like nothing he’d ever experienced.

“Fuck, that’s good,” he said. “How about you, how do you like my cock?”

Bighead just nodded, breathless, and then gasped, “Harder.”

Erlich was more than happy to grant that request. And he’d been right – it didn’t take very long before Bighead was tensing under him, giving a strangled groan as he came across his stomach.

There was no sense in holding himself back any more. Erlich set his own pace, deep and slow, leaning in for a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss as he shot his own load.

“That was fucking beautiful,” he said as he pulled away.

“Wow,” Bighead said. He looked entirely spent, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, arms sagging in the leather cuffs. There was cum drying on his stomach.

“Don’t suppose you have any towels lying around,” Erlich asked.

“I think they’re all packed,” Bighead said. “But there’s Kleenex in the bathroom, I think. Well, there’s toilet paper, anyway.”

The Kleenex was enough to get them cleaned up. When Erlich unsnapped the cuffs, Bighead tried to stand up, and fell forward on unsteady legs, his arms going around Erlich’s waist. They just stood like that for a minute, Erlich running his fingers through Bighead’s hair while he got his bearings, feeling pleased with himself that he’d literally fucked Bighead so thoroughly that he couldn’t walk.

_“Is it a crime that I still want you, and I want you to want me too,”_ Sade crooned from the speaker.

“Um,” Bighead said. “You wanna stay the night?”

“You don’t have a bed,” Erlich reminded him.

Somehow he ended up staying anyway, lying on top of the sleeping bag on the hardwood floor, Bighead snoring against his shoulder. They were both going to be sore as hell in the morning. But the biggest concern on Erlich’s mind as he started drifting off was whether he could get the swing safely into storage somewhere.

 

 


End file.
